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Author Topic: My Guardian Thoth, and great mysteries.
Blackout
Actor Singer Writer Director Visionary Philosopher Magickian Skydiver Digital Hippie and all around Creative Artist
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Ok. This is very weird and I would have to go into a real long and detailed story to explain to you why I am weirded out..in a good, wow, mystified way rather than a scared way yet it is strange and overwhelming.

When I was at the "What the Bleep!?" Prohpets Conference, a very nice woman named Gloria came up to me and told em to please sit down, that someone had sent her who was watching over me, to help repair some damage. Being an open minded person, rather than going, "ok crazy lady," as most people would (yet not the people it this conference these are just a different thinking group), I camly sat down and waited to see what she was talking about. Now Gloria new about the serious and draining struggle I had with my mother and sister trying to kill themselves before I had uttered a word or anything about my personality. Mind you I was also ina cheerful and ecited mood to be at this conference, so this is not something she picked up from me looking depressed or drained.

She told me to hold out my hands and then she held hers over mind and proceeded to very slowly and with great focus move them around about an inch higher than mine. I felt a definite sensation of a tingle and heat, it was not my imagination.

"What are you doing?" I inquired, forever the curious Gemini.

"You have damaged what we would call your hand eyes, you have chakra energy in your hands, and your hands are burnt. You used up all of your energy in thes struggle and damaged some abiiity to intake energy and hence you most likely got very run down."

This was true. I had. About two weeks before what the Bleep I had been very sick for two weeks and had had a very high fever where I had once again hallucinated Egyptian symbols and heiroglyphics. That's a whole other side story that greatly connects to this but the short of it is simpy that - that without drugs of any kind originally, I would see hieroglyhics on walls or things if I was iin that half awake/have asleep mode from not sleeping for a while or if I got very sick ect... and then when I first shroomed, at the end of the trip, I saw them CLEARLY.. everywhere, as if my room were the inside of a pyramid chamber or egyptian temple. It freaked me out and mystified me at the same time but I just figured.... eh whatever I trip hieroglyphics and didn't have the curiosity to do the full research at the time. I had about the standard knowledge of Egyptians as any average american at the time: Neat and very ary looking dudes. I liked them and thought it was all cool but the most information had was from watching a Discovery channel show or something like that.

Anyway... when I had hallucinated, many times I would see the same sybols, and I would always want to remember them, but when I would either break from the fevr or come out of the half dream or th trip, I would never remember full, it would be all hazy (I realize I have sidetracked from Gloria repairing my hands and we'll get right back to that in a second). Well several weeks ago, when I was very very sick, with the high fevor..as I said, it started happening again. The same symbols showed up.
6 larger ones underneath smaller and many intricate lines of text were written.

I finally decided that I was going to REMEMBER it this time and I got out a piece of paper and drew the symbols that I saw. In all my artitic abilities...actual hand drawing has not been one of my strengths so far, but I was able to get them down enough to be recongnizable and go searching for them on the internet in the morning when my fever had died down.

There were six symbols. An Owl. A leaf. A kind of rope with two little loops at the end, an arm pointed to the left, a vulture, and a lion/sphinx looking creature. I went online to various sites about Egyptians and hieroglyphics and found these exact symbols I had halluncinated and then drawn:

 -  -  -  -  -  -

I started finding meanings for the individual symbols but couldn't find a site to put them together in that order for a long time and then I finally found a few sites to translate sybols and that lets you pull sybols from like a huge flash mah jong (ot however you spell it) tile board into a translater, as well as a very helpful site that lets you type things and get the hieroglyphic version.

Well low and behold did my jaw drop when I put those symbols together. They came to be three possible meanings:

"One who is like God"
"Angel"
and here is the whopper, one site said the symbols mean the name:
"Michael"

Out of curiosity I went to another site that let you work in reverse and just typed in the name Michael.. and my jaw dropped again when what came out was the EXACT symbols I had drawn.

I shit you not.

I kept this private for a while because I knew it was just a little too wacky and freaky for anyone to take (even this open minded group of people on these boards).

But then... after wondering what it all meant, I bumped into Gloria at the prophets conference (which was another miracle that I was even able to get into that). Actually bumped into is the wrong way to put it. She sought me out, found me and sat down next to me with intent.

And now we come back to our story where we left off, with Gloria healing my hands, and telling me that "Thoth" had sent her.

"Who's Thoth?" I asked her curiously, as she focused on my hands with her own, and movely slowly and intently about as she told me what was being repaired.

"It's not important right now," she said. "He is an old friend, and he says you did well with your mother and sister. You were frustrated almost to the pointing of wanting to beat them but you held through, but you sued all of your energy and that is why you became sick."

"Well that is certainly true," I said with a laugh. all of this was incredibly fascinating. I didn';t know quite what to think, but I knew that I was feeling much better with whatever it was she was doing, and there had to be SOMETHING to this because I hadn't told her anything about my situation until after she mentioned it, and she was no 'torot card' fortune teller lady. I didn't seek her out and she wasn't trying to sell me anything.

"Tell me more about this Thoth," I asked. "Why is he and old friend? How do I know him? Why is he watching me, how does he and you or whoever know these things?"

"As I said it is not imortant right now and you will find all this when you are ready for it and not when I tell you in which case you may think I'm crazy."

She then stuttured for a moment while she went to tell me something, as if she herself didnt understand what she was saying.

"He says he is putting...blurple? Blurple light crystals in your hands."

"Blurple! Blurple is my favorite color! It's blue purple and very intense," I said.

"Ohhh I see..I saw the color I just had never heard the term 'blurple' before." said Gloria.

At this point was so excited at how mysteriously out of this world this experince was being that I moved my hands away (and felt a slight zap as I did so) and grabbed my blurple crystal that I carry with me in my pocket. The same one from the little movie I have up here called The Light Crystal.

"Put your hands back! I'm not done here," said Gloria. A bit annoyed at my aparent lack of focus.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that I just wanted to show you my blurple crystal. It is amazing to me what you are saying," I said as I showed her the crystal.

She smiled and said, "well well, you carry it around with you?"

"I try to, but I don't want to lose it so not always."

"Well, if you'll let me finish here," she said as she raised an eyebrow with her hand still extended, waiting for me to put mine back in place, which I did immediately, "you'll see...well maybe you won't see at first but know it, and try to visualize it - that I have repaired the damage that was done to your hands from burning out all your energy, and I have filled the holes with two powerful light crystals that are of the color you speak, and very intense. You have to imagine a sort of shutter over them, and that you can open and close them as needed, and that from now on you will use he energy around you and let it come into you and go out of you, instead of using up all of your own energy to the pont of exhaustion and drain. You will have to practice, but you wil become better at it, and you have powerful entities behind you of which you do not yet understand."

"Thoth?" I aksed. I was mystified. I felt different. I felt charged and filled with energy and now of course an amazing curiosity.

"Yes. She said, but that's just one. There are more."

"More what?"

"Beings who know of you, who are behind you...I have to go now though. We'll talk more about this later."

And we did talk more. A lot more. I don't have the time to go into it fully wight now but apparently I am an ancient trickster.

You know when I joke and say things like, come join the inbetween side of the force? Well that apparently is where I am right now. Go and learn of Thoth and do research on the Emerald Tablets of Thoth (they are real and exist).

Here is one of the things that I was lead to and that another person told me about in passing. It has been a lot of knowledge to absorb very quickly but it is intensely interesting:

Remember that I have different roles. I am diferent as Blackout than I am as Michael Richard Bigansky or Michael Biggins. I am finally starting to understand how it all intergrates.

Here is what Blackout is:
quote:

 -

 -

The trickster is a very important archetype in the history of man. He is a god, yet he is not. He is the wise-fool. It is he, through his creations that destroy, points out the flaws in carefully constructed societies of man. He rebels against authority, pokes fun at the overly serious, creates convaluted schemes - that may or may not work - plays with the Laws of the Universe and is sometimes his own worst enemy. He exists to question, to cause us to question & not accept things blindly. He appears when a way of thinking becomes outmoded needs to be torn down built anew. He is the Destroyer of Worlds at the same time the savior of us all.

The Trickster lives inside and outside of Time. He is of our world, yet not of our world, so our laws will not always apply. Other symbols, associated with him include keys, clock, masks, infinity among other mythologicla images

Trickster is a creator, a joker, a truth teller, a story teller, a transformer linked to the spiritual frequency changes humanity is experiencing at this time.

We seem most accessible to the synchronistic gifts of the Trickster when we ourselves are at or near boundaries or are experiencing transition states - periods of major life transitions seem to be occasioned by an abundance of meaningful coincidence. Personal growth sees not only to facilitate synchronicity, but in turn to be facilitated by it. As an archetype, the Trickster, the boundary dweller, finds expression through human imagination and experience.


The Trickster is an Alchemist


The part of you that transforms

We live in a dual reality - opposite polarities - yin /yang - male/female - good/ evil - God/Devil or Trickster.

Our reality is created by electromagnetic energy fields - the poles (North and South) - positive and negative energy.

This is much like a game. In order to win the game you must create balance.




--------------------
You are not your job, your titles, your possessions, your degrees, your lovers, your relationships, your place of residence, your social security number, your ID, your bills, your worries, your bank account, your age or your body. You are the timeless being that created & perceives itself through those things, and you have the power to play or not play that game. When someone asks me "what do you do?" looking for some title to pin me down, I laugh and say "EVERYTHING!" - Blackout

Posts: 7664 | From: New York City | Registered: Jul 2000  | Report this post to a Moderator
Third_eye_open
Official Blackout's Box Member
Member # 1097

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Very enlightening. I remember you speaking about thoth and and the emerald stuff. Very strage the meanings of the hieroglyphics are. I think all of them are connecting. The meanings. Maybe they label each on of your personalities? Maybe Blackout has a much bigger destiny that most would have guessed? Nothing happens out of coincidence

--------------------
"Time is merely a persistant illusion... so stfu about time having any god damn thing to do with any freaking dimension before i take you out with a belt-sander"
-Albert E.

Posts: 84 | Registered: Mar 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
BAD MUTHA FUCKA
Blackout's Box Master
Member # 425

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that's really weird blackout. Stuff like that happens to me all the time too. When in lived in frisco hippies would come up to me and tell me about my energy. I don't know what they are talking about because i'm really kinda of introverted believe it or not. I blend into a crowd. So I always wondered how these hippies managed to pick me. Is it because I'm brown? I think maybe i just look vulnerable or easy to talk to. but anyways they always seem to freak me out. the weird part is, is that I'm always thinking of fucking strange things for no reason like:

levitation
surving off of light
seeing something without being there, like other planets and stuff.
becoming invisible
being able to telport

and then I look stuff up on that and really what I'm doing is trying to find some answers and then some weirdo will come and and tell me things about stuff I've been studying on in secret and it freaks me out because first off, I wonder how they know this shit and then I wonder how deep into this can I delve. It's like i'm interested and nervous at the same time. then I get skeptical like they just want something or they're trying to lure me into something like hanging out with me and then pulling something like their mother is terminally ill and she's going to die unless she can get $$$ for an operation or something.

I don't know everytime I seem to find out more I'm kinda turned off by it because it seems like a lot of hindi people or hippies are into this kind of stuff. I don't like hindi people. Now I'm not saying I don't like people who are hindi and american. I don't like people who are hindi in america and still hindi. I find it strange that I drove from CA to VA and almost every gas station and hotel was hindi owned and operated. It really creeped me out. It's like I want to know about these things but if it means associating myself with strange hindi people and things then i just say, fuck it. I'll just stick to my hobbies and do my soul searching that way.

Posts: 956 | From: ... | Registered: May 2003  | Report this post to a Moderator
Third_eye_open
Official Blackout's Box Member
Member # 1097

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quote:
Originally posted by BAD MUTHA FUCKA:
that's really weird blackout. Stuff like that happens to me all the time too. When in lived in frisco hippies would come up to me and tell me about my energy. I don't know what they are talking about because i'm really kinda of introverted believe it or not. I blend into a crowd. So I always wondered how these hippies managed to pick me. Is it because I'm brown? I think maybe i just look vulnerable or easy to talk to. but anyways they always seem to freak me out. the weird part is, is that I'm always thinking of fucking strange things for no reason like:

levitation
surving off of light
seeing something without being there, like other planets and stuff.
becoming invisible
being able to telport

and then I look stuff up on that and really what I'm doing is trying to find some answers and then some weirdo will come and and tell me things about stuff I've been studying on in secret and it freaks me out because first off, I wonder how they know this shit and then I wonder how deep into this can I delve. It's like i'm interested and nervous at the same time. then I get skeptical like they just want something or they're trying to lure me into something like hanging out with me and then pulling something like their mother is terminally ill and she's going to die unless she can get $$$ for an operation or something.

I don't know everytime I seem to find out more I'm kinda turned off by it because it seems like a lot of hindi people or hippies are into this kind of stuff. I don't like hindi people. Now I'm not saying I don't like people who are hindi and american. I don't like people who are hindi in america and still hindi. I find it strange that I drove from CA to VA and almost every gas station and hotel was hindi owned and operated. It really creeped me out. It's like I want to know about these things but if it means associating myself with strange hindi people and things then i just say, fuck it. I'll just stick to my hobbies and do my soul searching that way.

If your interested i cant point you in a few directions and help you a bit if you wish. A few differnt psychics did my reading and they all said i should help others with my abilites. So i guess im commiting myself to helping people learn [Tool]

--------------------
"Time is merely a persistant illusion... so stfu about time having any god damn thing to do with any freaking dimension before i take you out with a belt-sander"
-Albert E.

Posts: 84 | Registered: Mar 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
Blackout
Actor Singer Writer Director Visionary Philosopher Magickian Skydiver Digital Hippie and all around Creative Artist
Member # 7

Member Rated:
5
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quote:

levitation
surving off of light
seeing something without being there, like other planets and stuff.
becoming invisible
being able to telport

All these things you mention are possible and true. Do not be scared to follow your inner voice and inner light. We DO survive off of light because we are light. The other things will come when you have gotten to a high enough state. Synchonicity is because just like the internet is all connected, so are we, and we are all one ultimately, although there are a bajillion zilling million tilion infinities between that, and nothing between it. That's hats so fun about it.

Have you seen What The Bleep Yet!? It will make you feel a lot better and that you are not crazy nor the other people who are walking up to you.

I see energy of of people and trip out all the time. I used to be far more skeptical but the truth that comes from within your own self scientist doesn't lie. I am open now to many things. I am advancing at an increased rate. My biggest challenge right now is focusing on creating wealth. I am rich, I just need the wealth now to have my richness realized through the means of what I need to do it, not to be wealthy for what most people want wealth for. I want to be the worlds coolest and friendliest prohpet bagillionaire movie/rock star theme park universe creator, and I am well on my way. I am there, the scale just keeps getting bigger.

This model not built to actual size because actual size is infinite.

--------------------
You are not your job, your titles, your possessions, your degrees, your lovers, your relationships, your place of residence, your social security number, your ID, your bills, your worries, your bank account, your age or your body. You are the timeless being that created & perceives itself through those things, and you have the power to play or not play that game. When someone asks me "what do you do?" looking for some title to pin me down, I laugh and say "EVERYTHING!" - Blackout

Posts: 7664 | From: New York City | Registered: Jul 2000  | Report this post to a Moderator


 
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