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Author
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Topic: Casino-Oriented Haikus
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Shostie
Blackout's Box Illuminati and Dreaderator: Vinlar the Dreadful Only available to those with over 3000 posts
Member # 112
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posted
I got bored at work today. I wrote 12 haikus. Here's a couple.
Oh, Coctail Waitress.
Warp my mind with alcohol.
Distract me from loss.
Come to the buffet.
Ten dollars, all you can eat.
Frest lobster at six.
I can make you rich.
Pull my arm and spin my reels.
Ha, ha, ha! You lose!
No! What have I done?!?
With one short spin of the wheel,
my life's savings, GONE!
Lament, bar lounge act!
No one wants to hear you sing.
Play some Skynard, man!
And finally, this one requires some explanation.
Near the booth I was working at tonight, there are these penny machines which are "Swamp Land" machines. You see, a lot of slot machines these days (usually the $.05 ones) are not much more than really pointless video games that take your money. You know the type (if you've been to a casino). They're the type with 5 reels, 9 paylines and nigh-incomprehensible payouts. These particular machines are swamp oriented. They also have the most annoying music I've ever heard. People play them alot, too. Anyways, tonight there was a "big" promotion for these machines. There were balloons, free tee-shirts, and a model. You could practically hear the sound of air passing through the cavity in her skull. She probably got around $500 to hang around these machines for 3 hours and look cute and fuckable. I hate this society. This last haiku is for her:
I am a model.
Pretty ass and perfect breasts.
Please come play Swamp Land.
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Maestra is indeed a sexy geek.
"Primitive humans make tools; computer-designed, high-tech hand tools." -program description from The History Channel's Modern Marvels
"I wish God were alive to see this." -Homer Simpson
"And my stage directions make no sense. How is it possible for me to wear clown make up AND be sober all at once?" -Davan MacIntire
Posts: 3653 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jul 2002
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Vinas
Official Blackout's Box Fancy Lad Canadian Bitch Ambassador and Teutonic God of Thunder
Member # 135
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posted
Jesus Christ, our Lord,
Unable to slumber now,
Go to bed, you goose!
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"Vinny uncaringly hurts peoples feelings. He's like a mean robot."
Posts: 3557 | From: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2002
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KDK PRANK CALLS
Blackout's Box Long Time Fan - and very good somewhat gay or bisexual guy? Who knows...what does it matter?
Member # 56
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Keith cousin is a barely-famous writer and spoken-word performer. His name is Rich Mackin and I know none of you have ever heard of him. But, he writes retarded letters to companies and send them haiku's about their products (you know....like writing to the company that makes LEVER 2000 soap and asking them to list the 2000 body parts their soap cleans...cuz it really only cleans one part...the skin). He even has a book out. His website is www.richmackin.org.
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KDK Prank Calls, still the highest-ranked prank call website on the planet.
Posts: 1016 | From: Danbury, CT, USA | Registered: Jul 2002
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Shostie
Blackout's Box Illuminati and Dreaderator: Vinlar the Dreadful Only available to those with over 3000 posts
Member # 112
Member Rated:
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posted
But I use Lever 2000 to clean my soul...
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Maestra is indeed a sexy geek.
"Primitive humans make tools; computer-designed, high-tech hand tools." -program description from The History Channel's Modern Marvels
"I wish God were alive to see this." -Homer Simpson
"And my stage directions make no sense. How is it possible for me to wear clown make up AND be sober all at once?" -Davan MacIntire
Posts: 3653 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jul 2002
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elf
Drunken Latin Mistress, Lover of the Cinnabun, Sex Doctor, and Lawyer
Member # 276
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try Ivory Soap... its 99 44/100 pure!
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Ahem, I am not Mexican. (not that there is anything wrong with that)
Posts: 1257 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Vinas
Official Blackout's Box Fancy Lad Canadian Bitch Ambassador and Teutonic God of Thunder
Member # 135
Member Rated:
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posted
That's not nearly pure enough for the shady character in question. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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"Vinny uncaringly hurts peoples feelings. He's like a mean robot."
Posts: 3557 | From: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2002
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Zach
Blackout's Box Master
Member # 248
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KDK,
I checked out that web site and read a few of his articles a very funny man. I especially enjoyed the one about Chuckie-Cheeses.
I am thinking about seeing him when he goes to Bloomington.
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"When people fear the government, there is tyranny. When government fears the people, there is liberty." Thomas Paine
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
Posts: 839 | From: Indiana | Registered: Aug 2002
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KDK PRANK CALLS
Blackout's Box Long Time Fan - and very good somewhat gay or bisexual guy? Who knows...what does it matter?
Member # 56
Member Rated:
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posted
Yes, he can be quite funny. Ironically enough, his day job is working in advertising. He works on those "TRUTH" anti-smoking campaigns.
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KDK Prank Calls, still the highest-ranked prank call website on the planet.
Posts: 1016 | From: Danbury, CT, USA | Registered: Jul 2002
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