|
Author
|
Topic: The Satellite and My Brain...
|
Shostie
Blackout's Box Illuminati and Dreaderator: Vinlar the Dreadful Only available to those with over 3000 posts
Member # 112
Member Rated:
|
posted
I've suspected this for quite some time now, but now I am certain. Do not tell me any of your novel, creative ideas, for there is a satellite orbiting this planet that is tapping into my brain.
I remember one day, watching MTV's The Real World, and thinking, "gee. This show is neat and all, but wouldn't it be cooler if instead of all these camera guys following these people around you had just a bunch of cameras everywhere in the house?" A few days later, I flipped through CBS and learned of their NEW show Big Brother. A show where a bunch of people live in a camera-filled house ala The Real World (but with some Survivor elements thrown in, probably from another satellite victim such as myself).
I know what you're saying, Big Brother was around in Europe before it came over here. But you're wrong. Look at the shoddy production values of the European versions. I think they just invented those post-haste so it wasn't obvious, such a good idea I had.
There have been a few more instances where the satellite has struck, sucking ideas from my fertile, creative brain, but they are inconsequential to what has happened recently.
As you all may well know, the horrible dictator of Iraq has been captured. I found this to be good news at first, as I tended to oppose the war based on the grounds that the US lacked one of those fundamental things scholars like to call a "reason," and now it looked like our troops might come home. But a day or so after Saddam was captured, I suddenly realized that the election gets in full swing in less than a month. How much of a coincidence is it that he is captured right before the Iowa Caucases, lately a Democrat-themed event (Republicans already know who they're nominating...), happens to arise just as Dean (who opposed the war) is making the other Democratic candidates look like jackasses. The result, as we're seeing it, is total pandemonium amongst the Democratic cadidates.
But then something weird happened. This idea began to show up in the media oddly enough. Then the unthinkable happened.
My dreams are relatively harmless and meaningless. Except on a few occasions, my dreams are an opportunity for my mind to not bother caring about anything in particular at all and focus on other things, such as ghosts with baseball bats running around harming the ones I love.
This one particular dream, which I lament, was not one of these.
There I was, hanging out with the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a few friends, when out of no where we hear this streaking sound followed by an explosion. We run outside, and there we are in Gautier, MS; There's the mall, in flames; There's the community college, in flames... We run for our lives, screaming, evading the volleys of cluster-bombs. And just when we think they've stopped, another volley, just as horrible as the last arrives. And then... I wake up.
Why? I asked myself. Why on earth would someone find it necessary to cluster bomb my very dreams, such dreams that brought us such wonderfully unwatched shows as Big Brother and others which I am unable to think of at this moment?
Terrorists? I think not. Terrorists barely lack the technology to realize that the barran scraps of land consisting of mainly sand and cacti that they fight over are nigh worth fighting for.
Then what, pray tell, is the answer?
I'll tell you.
None other than the US government.
Somehow I had latched upon their secret, their incestuous plan to confuse the Democrats and keep the incidious "W" in power. The satellite leaking the plan and therefore, my dreams must be stopped.
I fear for my life. I keep a bag packed and waiting at the door in case of the event that some government personnel come to take me in the night to one of the many secret US government work camps.
If I am not heard from, if suddenly my voice is lost, I plead of you, keep hope alive, for someday, the truth shall be known.
And we'll have a new reality show where the contestants attempt to travel cross country in groups of seven, while simultaneously trying to discover which of their group was planted, and which one holds the secret to the "golden poodle..."
--------------------
Maestra is indeed a sexy geek.
"Primitive humans make tools; computer-designed, high-tech hand tools." -program description from The History Channel's Modern Marvels
"I wish God were alive to see this." -Homer Simpson
"And my stage directions make no sense. How is it possible for me to wear clown make up AND be sober all at once?" -Davan MacIntire
Posts: 3653 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jul 2002
| 
|
|
Vinas
Official Blackout's Box Fancy Lad Canadian Bitch Ambassador and Teutonic God of Thunder
Member # 135
Member Rated:
|
posted
You know, everyone enjoys a little crank once in awhile, but sometimes enough is enough.
How about how nobody gave a shit about Paris Hilton or her retarded show till her video "accidentally leaked" to coincide with the launch?
--------------------
"Vinny uncaringly hurts peoples feelings. He's like a mean robot."
Posts: 3557 | From: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2002
|
|
|
Shostie
Blackout's Box Illuminati and Dreaderator: Vinlar the Dreadful Only available to those with over 3000 posts
Member # 112
Member Rated:
|
posted
Actually, the satellite connection to my brain is a heart-felt theory of mine. I just had to see how crazy it really looked on paper.
--------------------
Maestra is indeed a sexy geek.
"Primitive humans make tools; computer-designed, high-tech hand tools." -program description from The History Channel's Modern Marvels
"I wish God were alive to see this." -Homer Simpson
"And my stage directions make no sense. How is it possible for me to wear clown make up AND be sober all at once?" -Davan MacIntire
Posts: 3653 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jul 2002
|
|
|
Herbert
Ghostly lover of hats and elephants & Official Blackout's Box Archivist
Member # 628
Member Rated:
|
posted
Hey, you aren't the only one with their mind being tapped... I had the idea for Grand Theft Auto down on paper before the game was even heard of! Of course, my version was better, but they haven't had the technology to implement some of my ideas. I'm working on something, though, that I hope they never find. I'll let you all see it when I finish the beta version. It'll be really low-quality graphics, but I don't think anyone has ever successfully made a program like this. More later, I have to go put on my tin foil hat so THEY don't find out....
--------------------
http://HerbertFilby.com
Posts: 1516 | From: PA | Registered: Sep 2003
|
|
|
Erico
Official Blackout's Box Member
Member # 706
|
posted
Yeah THEY have been stealing my ideas of trash horror films for years.
--------------------
The biggest Quanicles fan.
Posts: 62 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2003
|
|
|
JamieRuth
Box Newbie
Member # 646
|
posted
I totally understand. It happens to me too. Such things as calling Kentucky Fried Chicken "KFC". Which me and my father coined back when I was but a mere child, still innocent and naive. Damn the government. IS NOTHING SACRED??
--------------------
Fuck you, fuck you, your cool, fuck you! I'm out B!
Posts: 12 | From: Missouri | Registered: Sep 2003
|
|
|
DeadcowX
Artist, Blackout's Box Studios Intern & DONATOR $100!
Member # 788
Member Rated:
|
posted
Well,
Reality Shows suck my testicles. They are so fucking boring I can't keep my attention on one for more then 10 minutes (if a commerical hasn't already made me by then). Why are you watching shows about real life when you can experience it yourself?
Seriously, I mean I hate reality shows because they lack a true sense of entertainment. Then when you goto work/school that next week people always ask you "Did you see what Jamie did to Amy ?". I reply "No, and I do not care."
I hate the social impact it has the most. Fuck reality shows and fuck the social fakeness.
--------------------
One time I had awoken to find myself in a room full of cubes, then I realized I was a sphere and it made me different from everyone else.
Posts: 394 | From: Tulsa, Ok | Registered: Dec 2003
|
|
|
Xenth
Angry, scary, freakish little pink video game dude leftover from the 1980s.
Member # 424
Member Rated:
|
posted
Reality tv shows are the best, because then I can see how real people lived back thousands of years ago on hawaii and such.. with the addition of contests that REAL hawaiians would have to of done to get their food every day.
--------------------
Axiom of choice is on par with the existence of God.
Posts: 1521 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: May 2003
|
|
|
Maestra
One sexy geek!
Member # 370
Member Rated:
|
posted
Certain relity shows, e.g. Newlyweds, make me feel more intelligent and better about myself. Then they make me feel kinda bad because these extreme idiots are getting paid more in a week than I make in a year. Yea. Fuck reality TV.
--------------------
You never know what's going to happen when you give a robot a machine gun.
Posts: 1786 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: Feb 2003
|
|
|
Ampersand
I'm Gentle and sweet woman looking for a good kind man.
Member # 431
Member Rated:
|
posted
Reality shows fill the gap in my existence aptly labeled "reality". Thank god for that.
But, rest assured, we'll get the Detectatards to look into this 'satellite theory'.
--------------------
I'm looking for a good kind man, who wont hit me anymore. Will you be my friend forever? Come check out my profile.
Posts: 1146 | From: Sometimes I don't remember but I know I'm near a pool. | Registered: May 2003
|
|
|
|
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
