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Author
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Topic: A tribute to the worse band ever.
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Xenth
Angry, scary, freakish little pink video game dude leftover from the 1980s.
Member # 424
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posted
Ok, so there is this goth at my school who happens to be a complete idiot. She claims that this band "cradle of filth" is the most complex band in the world.
So I listened to a little of their music and it was total bullshit, un melodic all in chromatic nothing but 32nd notes, most death metal is more melodic than this.
So I told her that she was flawed in what she said and I also called them black metal, both things of course pissed her off..she said "THEY ARE GOTH METAL NOT BLACK.. BIG DIFFERENCE YOU UNARTISTIC OAF" and then she said "THEY ARE COMPLEX BECAUSE OF THEIR INNER MEANING!" and "THEY ARE GENIUSES IN THEIR SIMPLICITY"
So then I asked her what the "inner meaning" was in their music (because there is no way that music about raping corpses and daemon sex has an inner meaning) and then she told me "you wouldn't understand! you are too closed minded" This was an answer that I expected from a goth so I just gave up all hope of getting nothing but retarded demi-verse from her mouth.
Anyways, just to show you how bad this band truley is, here is the lyrics to "cthulhu dawn" the one song I judged the entire band on.
Cthulhu dawn
Spatter the stars
Douse their luminosity
With our amniotic retch
Promulgating the birth
Of another Hell on Earth
Shadows gather poisoned henna for the flesh
A necrotic cattle brand
The hissing downfall pentagram
Carven deep upon the church doors of the damned
But no Passover is planned
A great renewal growls at hand
And only when they're running
Will they come to understand...
So ends the pitiful reign of Man
When the moon exhales
Behind a veil
Of widowhood and clouds
On a Biblical scale
We raise the stakes
To silhouette the impaled
Crowds...
Within this kissed disembowel arena
A broken seal on an ancient curse
Unleashes beasts from the seismic breach
With lightning reach and genocidal thirst
Mountains of archaos theories
In collision as at planetary dawn
Apocalypse's razorbacks
Beat wings on glass as thunder cracks
Unfurled across a world hurled to the black
Cthulhu dawn
Shatter the glass house
Wherein spirits breathe out
Halitosis of the soul
From a recking abscess
Plague of far righteousness
All fates hang in the balance
Mocking crucified dolls
An inquisition outs
When the Sun goes out our powers
Will extend throughout Heaven like Asphodel
As they have for countless lustrum
In dark Midian accustoned
To burning effigies of our enemies well
So begins the sibilant world Death knell...
When a corpse wind howls
And awakes from drowse
The scheming dead freed
Of gossamer shrouds
We gorgonise eyes
Of the storm aroused
Red...
Blinding time
All lines dine on this instance
A melting spool of beggar, negative frames
The skies teem alive, to watch die
Mankind hauled to fable in vast tenement graves...
Cthulhu dawn
Inner meaning? I don't think so, yes its talking about the apocolypse blah blah blah but that isn't an inner meaning, thats just goth bullshit.
I feel better now.
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Axiom of choice is on par with the existence of God.
Posts: 1521 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: May 2003
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Xenth
Angry, scary, freakish little pink video game dude leftover from the 1980s.
Member # 424
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Oh yeah, and....
This be cradle of filth.
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Axiom of choice is on par with the existence of God.
Posts: 1521 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: May 2003
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Vinas
Official Blackout's Box Fancy Lad Canadian Bitch Ambassador and Teutonic God of Thunder
Member # 135
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But in the end, Cradle Of Filth has won, because at least one stupid goth person will see this page and go check out their music now.
What have you done. ![[Insomnia]](graemlins/insomnia.gif)
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"Vinny uncaringly hurts peoples feelings. He's like a mean robot."
Posts: 3557 | From: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2002
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Xenth
Angry, scary, freakish little pink video game dude leftover from the 1980s.
Member # 424
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posted
For every goth that visits this post and then starts listening to cradle of filth, 10 metal heads will hate cradle of filth. It is for the greater good.
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Axiom of choice is on par with the existence of God.
Posts: 1521 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: May 2003
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Maestra
One sexy geek!
Member # 370
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Unfortunetly, I know of this band. My ex listened to is constantly and said they they were so complex. I thought they were just making noise and growling alot. Anybody can make noise and growl. Just my opinion. The only thing I can say in defense of the band is that their lyrics, suck thought they might, are written in iambic pentameter. That's about as complex as they get. Other than that, yea, they suck, they suck a lot.
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You never know what's going to happen when you give a robot a machine gun.
Posts: 1786 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: Feb 2003
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Shostie
Blackout's Box Illuminati and Dreaderator: Vinlar the Dreadful Only available to those with over 3000 posts
Member # 112
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A. Worse band ever? So there's only two for comparison?
B. I agree. Cradle sucks.
quote:
She claims that this band "cradle of filth" is the most complex band in the world.
Christina Aguilara is more complex than Cradle.
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Maestra is indeed a sexy geek.
"Primitive humans make tools; computer-designed, high-tech hand tools." -program description from The History Channel's Modern Marvels
"I wish God were alive to see this." -Homer Simpson
"And my stage directions make no sense. How is it possible for me to wear clown make up AND be sober all at once?" -Davan MacIntire
Posts: 3653 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jul 2002
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Xenth
Angry, scary, freakish little pink video game dude leftover from the 1980s.
Member # 424
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quote:
Unfortunetly, I know of this band. My ex listened to is constantly and said they they were so complex. I thought they were just making noise and growling alot. Anybody can make noise and growl. Just my opinion. The only thing I can say in defense of the band is that their lyrics, suck thought they might, are written in iambic pentameter. That's about as complex as they get. Other than that, yea, they suck, they suck a lot.
Ok, well I know I said this before but cradle of filth has no melody whatsoever, its all chromatic tremolo picked 32nd notes with absolutely no rythym at all. I can improvise stuff banging my head on the guitar that sound better than this.
thats basicly what maestra said though, cradle of filth is a disgrace to all metal and gives it all a bad name.
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Axiom of choice is on par with the existence of God.
Posts: 1521 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: May 2003
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Vinas
Official Blackout's Box Fancy Lad Canadian Bitch Ambassador and Teutonic God of Thunder
Member # 135
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All true Metal Heads hate Cradle Of Filth almost as much as they like Manowar before they've even heard of them.
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"Vinny uncaringly hurts peoples feelings. He's like a mean robot."
Posts: 3557 | From: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2002
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JJ
Box Newbie
Member # 743
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I had simalar experience w/ A Cradle Head. The stupid guy on the back of the shirt was stairing at me and i told it to stop, Jokingly and shes like "hes so hot leave him alone. He's a genius" I was like oh... ok. so yeah. Umm tried to listening to it. umm yeah i wasnt sure what was worse. The yelling from the "band" or Yelling from the girl i so obviously offended.
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Love All
Serve One
Posts: 8 | From: Hanover Park, IL | Registered: Nov 2003
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Shostie
Blackout's Box Illuminati and Dreaderator: Vinlar the Dreadful Only available to those with over 3000 posts
Member # 112
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Cradle Heads? That's what they're called? That's soooooooooooo CUTE! ![[Love ]](graemlins/loveyesface.gif)
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Maestra is indeed a sexy geek.
"Primitive humans make tools; computer-designed, high-tech hand tools." -program description from The History Channel's Modern Marvels
"I wish God were alive to see this." -Homer Simpson
"And my stage directions make no sense. How is it possible for me to wear clown make up AND be sober all at once?" -Davan MacIntire
Posts: 3653 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jul 2002
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Maestra
One sexy geek!
Member # 370
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quote:
Originally posted by Luke, I am your blotter:
The lyrics Xenth posted sure weren't in iambic pentameter ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Not all of their songs were. Or maybe it was another one of those kinds of bands. Manowar? Children of Botom maybe? I'm not sure. They all sounded exactly the same and started running together after a while.
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You never know what's going to happen when you give a robot a machine gun.
Posts: 1786 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: Feb 2003
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Xenth
Angry, scary, freakish little pink video game dude leftover from the 1980s.
Member # 424
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how dare you insult children of bodom
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Axiom of choice is on par with the existence of God.
Posts: 1521 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: May 2003
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Maestra
One sexy geek!
Member # 370
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Oh I dare, buddy. I dare. ![[Evil ]](graemlins/evilface.gif)
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You never know what's going to happen when you give a robot a machine gun.
Posts: 1786 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: Feb 2003
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Vinas
Official Blackout's Box Fancy Lad Canadian Bitch Ambassador and Teutonic God of Thunder
Member # 135
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Whoa "man", Manowar may be ridiculous tripe, but at least they did it on purpose.
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"Vinny uncaringly hurts peoples feelings. He's like a mean robot."
Posts: 3557 | From: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2002
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Mary Nicol
Box Understudy
Member # 727
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Wow, never heard any of this band's lyrics, but I must agree that they suck. It sounds like bad teen goth poetry.
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~"To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. " -E.E. Cummings~
Posts: 41 | From: Southern Illinois | Registered: Oct 2003
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Maestra
One sexy geek!
Member # 370
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Trust me. By not hearing the lyrics, you are much better off.
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You never know what's going to happen when you give a robot a machine gun.
Posts: 1786 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: Feb 2003
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Shostie
Blackout's Box Illuminati and Dreaderator: Vinlar the Dreadful Only available to those with over 3000 posts
Member # 112
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It's sort of like being in the trenches of WW1, but without the hail of artillary shells and body parts, and you're blind, and all you can hear is Cradle of Filth.
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Maestra is indeed a sexy geek.
"Primitive humans make tools; computer-designed, high-tech hand tools." -program description from The History Channel's Modern Marvels
"I wish God were alive to see this." -Homer Simpson
"And my stage directions make no sense. How is it possible for me to wear clown make up AND be sober all at once?" -Davan MacIntire
Posts: 3653 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jul 2002
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BAD MUTHA FUCKA
Blackout's Box Master
Member # 425
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YES!!! Finally someone else who hates Cradle of Filth.
Next time you see that goth bitch tell her like this:
Cradle of Filth is the worst band ever. Only a complete moron would disagree with me.
Now if she disagrees with you she'll have to call herself a moron.
If she tells gives you that complex and simplicity shit again tell that bitch like this:
This is the the formula of their genius:
Nonsense dribble + Mediocre musical skill = GENIUS
That is why she thinks they are complex in their meaning and genius in their simplicity.
The Nonsense Dribble they call lyrics don't make sense. It's not complex. It's perplexing. It makes you wanna say? What the fuck is that supposed to mean. They are simple because they suck. There is no other way to say it. THEY JUST SUCK.
If she keeps giving you crap just punch her in the face and kick her down some stairs. I don't think you'll get in trouble because everyone will think she's a zombie anyway.
Posts: 956 | From: ... | Registered: May 2003
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Vinas
Official Blackout's Box Fancy Lad Canadian Bitch Ambassador and Teutonic God of Thunder
Member # 135
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Man, instead of getting in trouble for kicking her stupid ass down the stairs, they'll probably give him a medal for stopping the first wave of the zombie invasion.
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"Vinny uncaringly hurts peoples feelings. He's like a mean robot."
Posts: 3557 | From: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2002
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Xenth
Angry, scary, freakish little pink video game dude leftover from the 1980s.
Member # 424
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Only in Canada my rodent friend, only in Canada.
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Axiom of choice is on par with the existence of God.
Posts: 1521 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: May 2003
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Maestra
One sexy geek!
Member # 370
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Well, start packing, Xenth. Do you want a medal for destroying zombies or not?
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You never know what's going to happen when you give a robot a machine gun.
Posts: 1786 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: Feb 2003
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X-Dog -ZER0
Official Blackout's Box Member
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I think cradle of faith is good.....for me to poop on!
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when all is said and done, it will be I who eats the last pickle.
Posts: 74 | From: lafayette | Registered: Jul 2003
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