Transcript of "Take Your Medicine"
Original Prank call by Blackout
Transcribed/Optimized for HTML by Bob Proverb, Jr.
Characters:
Hector Rodriguez, the assistant
John Dandell, the pharmacist
Gladys Cronnig/Croning
Victims:
Grace Cronig
David Cronig
(phone rings once...)
(sound of phone picking up)
Grace (elderly woman): Hello?
(typing sounds in the background
Hector (speaking with hispanic accent): Hello, is Mrs. uh, Cronig there, please? Hello?
Grace: Hello?
Hector: Hello, is Mrs. Cronig...
Grace: Yeah?
Hector: ...Cron--Cronig there?
Grace: You want my husband?
Hector: No, MRS uh...
Grace: I'm Mrs. Cronig.
Hector: Oh, Mrs. Cronig, hello. This is Hector Rodriguez from Eckard's pharmacy. I got a prescription that jou didn't pickin up.
Grace: I don't know what you're saying.
Hector: Ah, sorry, I'm a stupid kind of Spanish person. I got a-a prescription for jou for---for Mrs. Cronig that jou didn't pick up, jour pills.
Grace: A subscription?
Hector: No, a PREScription...drugs, the good stuff.
Grace: A prescription?
Hector: Yeah, the good drugs.
Grace: I don't have any prescriptions.
Hector: Oh, not--that's not what I got in here, hold on a second, let me type it in. C-R-O-N-I...uh...No, yea, I have a prescription for jou that jou didn't take and it's urgent uh, for jou taking it. Otherwise jou go looney-bin crazy.
Grace: I don't have any prescriptions.
Hector: Oh la--
Grace:
Hector: Jou don't have any medication, jou haven't taken jour medication?
Grace: No.
Hector: That's very dangerous for you, Ms. Cronig. If jou no taking jour pills, uh...it's very dangerous for jou.
(Grace hangs up)
(phone rings four times...)
(sound of answering machine picking up)
David (elderly man): : Hello, I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a short message after the beep. I r-re...I will return your call as soon as I can, thank you.
(machine beeps)
John: Hello? This is the Eckard's pharmacy, hello?
(Grace picks up the phone)
Grace: Who is this?
John: Hello, Mrs. Cronig?
Grace: Yes.
John: Yeah, my assistant Hector just talked to me and said he had a problem with your prescription, I just wanna check what's going on.
Grace: I don't...I have not called, and I don't know what you're talking about!
John: You don't have a prescription with us?
Grace: No!
John: Well, ma'am, that's no reason to call him a Spanish Fly, there's no reason to--to curse at him because of his heritage, or because of his race.
Grace: I don't know what you're talking about, good night.
John: H--he...Excuse me, ma'am...
(Grace hangs up)
(phone rings once...)
David (speaks with light Boston accent): Hello?
John: Hello?
David: Yes?
John: Uh, is this Mrs. Cronig?
David: What do you want her for?
John: Uh--I--she...I was just on the phone with her...This is John Dandell, I'm the pharmacist, and uh, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on here. I have my assis...
David: What, pharmacist for what?
John: For Eckard's.
David: No, we don't have anything with you.
John: Well, sir, I have something registered to you.
David: No...
John: To Mr., uh, David Cronig, and a Mrs. Cronig.
David: No, there's something wrong.
John: At Sentry Village, twenty seventy-two.
David: No, I think it's a mistake.
John: Well, I--sir, I don't appreciate your wife's behavior on the line...
David: Well, she didn't understand what's going on.
John: She--she was cursing at my assistant, he's all upset in the background. Hector, are you okay?
David: Well, it must be a mistake, sir...
Hector (in the background, to John): There's no reason for that, you...
David: I don't know what it's all about.
Hector (in the background, to John): You tell him that there's no reason for them to be...to--to be talking like that.
David: What--what--what is...
John: Hold on, let me put him on. Hector, come here.
David: What is the prescription?
Hector: Hello, who this please?
David: What is the prescription?
Hector: Jour wife...I just trying to doing...
David: I'm Mr. Cronig, she has no prescription at Eckard's.
Hector: Well she must have something wrong with her, because she was screaming at me and telling...
David: Well, she's afraid that somebody was tring to make...some money outta her.
Hector: I don't want nobody's money, d--it's already pre-paid.
David: All right, well, you calm--you calm down a minute. What...
Hector: She was screaming at me, calling me a Spanish dog, I...
David: Oh, come on now...wait a minute.
Hector: That's not--that's not right, Mr. Cronig.
David: Wait a minute, wait a minute. What is the prescription? What's it for?
Hector: The prescription is for (not sure of the name here, Blackout, please verify) Pepisamigro pills, which is a pill to keep people from having uh, aggravated episodes, and it sounds to me like she has...
David: Well it sounds like somebody's making the wrong prescription. What doctor...
Hector: Well you know, from what I hear from her she...
David: What doctor is it?
Hector: ...she hasn't been taking her pills.
David: What doctor is it?
Hector: I don't know the doctor, I'm the assistant, but I wanna say that uh...
David: Where's this prescription from?
Hector: You want me to put back on the pharmacist? I-I...
David: Yes, please, please.
Hector: ...I'm just the assistant. But I want to tell you, Mr. Cronig, I don't appreciate the way...
David: Well, I'm very sorry if she uh...
Hector: Well I want an apology from her. I need to have an apology because that's not right. I lived with, uh, people for a long time.
David: Well she's upset, she doesn't know anything about a prescription.
Hector: I--I never had anyone talk to me like that...
David: Well, all right. Lemme talk to the pharmacist...
Hector: ...I--she called me a--a--a poopoo dog and all these other nasty names.
David: All right. Lemme talk to the pharmacist.
Hector: All right, hold on, I put him on.
Hector (in background, to John): Mr. Dandell, they wanna talk wit jou. I--I told them to apologize to me because this woman...it sounds to me like she haven't been taking her pills, she's crazy, she's screaming at me...the husband's on the phone, he sounds all right, but the woman sounds like she's having...traumatic episodes, and I think...
David: You're full of baloney! Come on, where's the pharmacist?
John: Uh, hello--give me the phone there, Hector. Hello, Mr. Cronig, uh, my assistant here says that she sounds like she's having episodes, is this going on?
David: Aw, come on, I think there's something wrong.
John: Well, one of the side effects listed on not taking these pills is--not take...
David: Who is the doctor?!?
John: Ah, lemme see the doctor here, now (can't make out this word)
Grace (in background, to David): Ask him about the doctor...
David: I--that's what I'm finding out.
John: Well, it's uh, my assistant is very upset. I don't know what she said to him...
David: All right, who's the doctor?
John: I'm pulling it up now, sir, the system's on the computer, takes a second here. There's no need to get this sort of an attitude, I--really, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on.
David: Well, because there's a mistake somewhere, and she's all upset that you called, that you was a prescription, because she has no...
John: Well, one of the side effects here are traumatic episodes...
David: Oh, come on, get off of it...
John: It sounds to me like she hasn't been taking the right...
David: Get off of it! Lemme who the doctor is.
John: G--get off of what, sir? Sir, have you been t--
David: Lemme know who the doctor is...
John: Have you been taking y--your correct...(starts stuttering)
David: You're full of shit! Gimme the doctor's name!
John: Now, there--I am pulling up the doctor, sir, there is no need for that sort of language, sir! Now act your age! Okay, here it comes...So, is--is that how you treat people, sir, is to curse at them, that's no way to get anywhere in this world, sir. And I don't appreciate that...I'm filing that down, that uh, you were cursing at me on the phone. You said S-H-I-T shit.
John (in background, to Hector): Mark that down, Hector.
Hector (in background, to John): That's the same thing she said to me, the--the wife said shit--fucking cursing and all that. I don't believe in the way these people acting...they think they live in Sentry Village and they're all that and so I just trying to call her up.
John (in background, to Hector): I understand, Hector.
John: All right, here it is. Mr. Cronig?
David: Yes.
John: Are you there?
David: Yes.
John: Are--are you calmed down, now, sir?
David: Okay. Tell me who the doctor is.
John: It's coming up on the computer, sir. A--and to tell you the truth, it sounds like you both haven't been taking the right pill for the right job. I want you to...
David: No, we're not taking any pills.
John: Well, I want you both to be checked again.
David: There's nothing wrong with us.
John: I'm putting in a submittal for you to have a checkup again.
David: I'm gonna...what--what Eckard are you from?
John: I'm at the Eckard here in uh, four-forty-two Commercial.
David: Commercial? You're a heck of a long way from here...
John: That's because these pills can't be shipped over to your Eckard's, sir.
David: Oh, come on. I don't know anything about any pre--
John: Well, I don't know, sir, but I'm putting in for you to be checked up again, because the both of you sound like you're having episodes...traumatic episodes to me.
David: I think there's a big mistake, sir.
John: Well you don't curse at someone because of that. That's--that's exactly one of the side effects, is someone to...
David: Oh, come on.
John: "Person shouts."
David: Oh, come on, get off of it.
John: Have your...
David: Gimme me the name of the doctor.
John: Get off of what, sir? What am I standing on, sir?
David: Let me know the name of the doctor!
John: Sir, the computer is searching for it, okay, it takes a couple seconds here, now if you'll just calm down and wait with me here, we can get through this, but I don't appreciate your rude and obnoxious manner. There's no need for that. I'm--I'm marking this, and I'm gonna have you checked again. I'm gonna have you submitted, because I think you haven't been taking your proper medications.
David: We're not on medications.
John: Well, that's obviously the problem, sir, because you need to be.
David: No, no...we have no...
Hector: They need to be on...hello, gimme the phone, listen...
David: We have no problem, we have no problem...
Hector: You and your wife were...
David: We have no problem.
Hector: You have problems, because you don't scream at people who are trying to helping jou out, tha...
David: We think that you're making a mistake, that's why we're calling at you.
Hector: Well, then jou can say that, that's no prblem to say "making a mistake," but don't say "shit," and "you're a Spanish, uh, Spanish stupido"...I don't need that, you know, and my pharmacist...
David: All right, I apologize for swearing at you.
Hector: That's right, you better apologize, cuz I--I pu--I...I'll pull your nose.
David: All right, I apologize. All I wanna know...
Hector: ...I'll beat you in the nose.
David: All I wanna know is where this prescription came from. What...
John: Okay, sir, I have it coming from the "Rooksnitchzien Branch of Pharmaceuticals"...the "Rooksnitchzien Branch of Pharmaceuticals."
Hector: That's the same thing that I---that I had, that's the same thing...
David: I think somebody's playing a practical joke.
Hector: ...on the computer.
John: What--what're you...excuse me, sir?
David: I think somebody's playing a practical joke.
John: Sir, I--I don't have time for--wha-what're you--what're you--what're you saying, sir? I-I have you on my files!
David: I wanna know the name of the doctor!
John: You don't go to the "Rooksnitchzien Branch?"
David: No.
John: Sir, are you playing with me? Are you playing with my time?
David: No, we don't go there!
John: I-I-I'm gonna have a doctor check you out...
David: I'll call my doctor and have him call you!
John: Well, your doctor hasn't been taking..uh-I...
David: Oh, come on, you're making a mistake!
John: Sir, have you been taking your checkups in the last two years?
David: Psshh, aw, I...
John: Cause I-I-I wanna know what's going on here, because what I have here...
David: I'm gonna hang up on you because I think it's a mistake!
John: Well, sir, I'll have the...I'll have the medical examiner sent to your office right now, I'll have you pulled in for a checkup.
David: What office?
John: I'll have you pulled in right now.
David: For what?
John: To check up, because I really seriously believe...
David: Oh you're full of...
John: ...that the both of you haven't been taking your medications.
David: I think it's a mistake!
John: And you need some therapeutic help.
David: It's a big mistake, sir.
John: I'm gonna prescribe Valium for the both of you right now.
David: Oh, go to hell.
(David hangs up)
Hector: Give them both Valium cause they're messed up in the head.
(phone rings once)
David: Hello?
Gladys: Hello?
David: Hello?
Gladys: Hello, is this the Cronigs? Hello?
(David hangs up)
(phone rings thrice)
David: Hello?
Gladys: Why'd ya hang up on me for?
(David hangs up)
Gladys: Hello?
(Grace hangs up)
(phone rings once)
Gladys: Would you stop it?!
(Grace hangs up)
David: Well what do you want?
Gladys: Oh my God, would you stop with that, I'm just trying to talk to you for a second.
David: Yes, what is it?
Gladys: I'm trying to figure out what's going on. I'm trying to call and get my prescription, and I think there's a mixup with our--with our names.
David: You got the wrong name.
Gladys: My name's Gladys.
David: Well I'm sorry, they've been harassing us all evening, and tell us we...
Gladys: Well, I'm trying to call and pick up my prescription, and they're saying that it isn't mine, that it's...and they gave me your phone number as phone number.
David: Well, it's a mistake because we have no prescription, we never had a prescription.
Gladys: Well that's the thing, I have one, and it's my prescription. My name's Gladys Cronig.
David: Cronig?!
Gladys: G. Cronig.
David: What's l--how do you spell your name?
Gladys: Gladys...G-L-A-D...
David: No, the last name.
Gladys: What, my last name?
David: Yea.
Gladys: C-R-O-N-N-I-G.
David: Ohhh, Cro-NING.
Gladys: Cro-NIG.
David: Our name is Cronig.
Gladys: Well--I tried to call them, and they're--they're scre---they said that I was cursing at them and I don't know what they're talking about.
David: No, it was...We were cursing at them because it's a mistake.
Gladys: You were...you're cursing at the pharmacy?
David: Yes, because...
Gladys: What for?
David: Because it's a mistake and we tried to tell them that and they wouldn't believe us, so we cursed at them.
Gladys: Oh my God, no wonder! Geez, they--they're all mad at--I called them up just a little while ago...
David: Well, tell them the spelling of the name, they've got the wrong name.
Gladys: Because I need, uh, there's certain pills I have traumatic episodes, and I ain't been taking them.
(Gladys hiccups in the background)
David: Yea, well, they think that we ha--we have because we screamed at them that it's a mistake.
Gladys: And I haven't...I start uh...shaking...
(David laughs)
Gladys: Oh my God, and they're screaming at me, saying uh, that...
David: They think you were the one they were talking to.
Gladys: There's this Spanish guy there, I can't even tell what the hell he's saying!
David: I know it.
Gladys: Those damn Puerto-...
David: He--he's the one that got...he's the one that got so angry at us.
Gladys: Oh my God, oh, no wonder this...
David: Well, can you call your doctor?
Gladys: Yes, I'm gonna try and straighten this all out, cause they don't even wanna give me my own prescription.
David: Well, you call...
Gladys: You know, and I need it tonight, I gotta pick it up, I ran out of pills.
David: Call the--call your doctor.
Gladys: Well if they call you, you gotta tell them that I'm the real one. Say the name's Gladys. They have it as---they should have it as G, is your name G too?
David: No--Grace, yea, my wife's name is Grace.
Gladys: Oh my God.
(David laughs)
Gladys: Oh my Lord Jesus.
David: Ah, what's the telephone number that uh...the prescription.
Gladys: No wonder.
David: Wait a minute, let me write down the telephone number. Lemme get a pencil.
Gladys: They have it as uh...as yours here.
David (in background, to Grace): Grace Cro-NING. C-R-O-N-I-N-G.
Gladys: No, my name's Gladys.
David (to Grace): Yeah, Gladys.
Gladys: Not Grace.
David: Yeah, Gladys.
Gladys: Grace is a wonderful name.
David: Yeah, all right...
Gladys: I had a dog--bit me...
(David laughs)
Gladys: And I've been going crazy.
David: All right, what's the pharmacy...
(Gladys makes fake puke/hacking noises)
Gladys: There it is again, oh my God.
David: Gimme--gimme the telephone number of the prescription.
Gladys: Oh, what is it here, I can't even see it.
David: Of--of Eckard's.
Gladys: Oh, yeah, the one on Commercial?
David: Yeah.
Gladys: Oh, where do I have it here? Hold on, lemme get a shot of bourbon.
(Grace mumbles in the background, Gladys gulps and coughs)
Gladys: Oh, I've been drinking myself to death, I'm so nervous.
David: Well...
Gladys: And if I don't get these pills...
David: I--I...
Gladys: I start shaking...
David: ...yeah, well I'll call 'em and tell...
Gladys: I bit my dog I was so nervous.
David: I'll call the do--uh, the pharmacy.
Gladys: Tell them that it's Gladys, not Grace.
David: Gladys...
Gladys: Cause I--I ripped my dog's tail off, I was so nervous.
David (laughing): Gladys...
Gladys: He was barking in the background, and I bit him on the tail, and...
David: C-R-O-N-I-N-G?
Gladys: Oh, yeah. (hacks) Oh, there it is again.
David: Oh.
Gladys: Ooh, God.
David: Well what's the telephone number of the pharmacy?
Gladys: You want my number here?
(Gladys starts hacking/coughing in the background, keeps going)
David: Uh, gimme your number, and the pharmacy.
Gladys: Oh geez, there it is again.
David: What's the...
Gladys: Oh, my God, I'm having one of these episodes right now!
David: What's the telephone...
Gladys: Hold on a second. (To the background) Get away from there.
David (in background, to Grace): She's having an episode. Says she needs the pills.
Grace (in background, to David): I dunno where they got MY name...
(Gladys' coughs are worsening)
David (in background, to Grace): She's having a fit.
(Grace mumbles in background to David)
Gladys: Oi, I better call them quick, oh my gosh, I got hair coming outta my...ears, oh...
David: A--All right. Can you gimme the pharmacy number?
Gladys: Ooo God this is horrible!
David: Gimme the telephone number!
Gladys: It's seven, oh, it's the Commercial Ecky's, I mean Eckard's, oh, Records, oh, God I can't even talk.
David: W-what's the number?
Gladys: I need the pa-pa-ja-the pills, the...
David: All right, what's the tel--
Gladys: Hector Rodriguez is the name of my pharmacist, he's a Puerto-Ri...
David (in background, to Grace): She's having a fit.
Gladys: Oh, this is horrible, oh my good gracious Lord.
David: What's the telephone number of the...
Gladys: You gotta call them, they gotta get--I gotta get it picked up.
David: Gimme the number.
Gladys: I'm gonna send my son in to get it.
David: Gimme the number, gimme the number.
Gladys: Oh, where's the number, hold on...
David (in background, to Grace): She's having a fit. She needs those pills.
(Grace mumbles in background to David)
David (in background, to Grace): Yea, but I wanna call this pharmacy.
Gladys: Smurfs, chicken pot pie, ooh, Porno for Pyros! Ooh, where's the number! Ooh God I can never find anything when I need it. (noises get more intense)
David (in background, to Grace): She's having a fit. Gladys...
Gladys (still making noises): Yabba dabba doo!
(Gladys hangs up, we get a dialtone)
(phone rings once)
Grace: Hello?
Hector: Hello, Mrs. Cronig?
David: Hello?
Hector: This is Mr. Rodriguez. I'm calling jou one last time, to--to--I keep putting in the computer, and this says that it's jour pills, and I'm...
David: No, the lady just called me, I don't know how she got my phone number. Her name is Gladys Cro-NING...
Hector: Listen...
David: C-R-O-N-I-N-G.
Hector: Listen, yes, you just called here...
David: ...and she needs the medication, that's the lady, not my wife.
Grace (in background): We don't know where she is.
David: And I don't know...she couldn't give me her phone number, she was having a fit on the phone.
Hector: Listen, I don't think that's funny to playing these games, cause someone just called my like that, ah, trying to act like some woman who--who needed the pills.
David: No, that woman needs the medication, not my wife, I--
Hector: No, I have it listed to you, I have Cronig, Grace Cronig.
David: Sir, it's a mistake.
Hector: In Sentry Village--well then if it's a mistake why are jou cursing at me and everything, you think it's a big game.
David: Because I'm tired of you telling us it's ours! It's not ours.
Hector: Computers don't lie, sir. It's the Twentieth Cenchuro, and they...
David: Can you tell me who the doctor is?
Hector: I don't have--I have listed the Rooksnitchzien Medical Center. Roo--
David: What's the name of the center?
Hector: Rooksnitchzien Pharmaceuticals. Roo--R-O-O-K, Rooksnitchzien. Rooksnitchzien. I can't--It's hard for me to pronounce it, that doesn't mean jou gotting to make fun of ME.
David: Can you call--can you call them, or is it too late?
Hector: Well, sir, what time is it--it's late--we are open 24 hours, but we only give...
David: WE don't need the medication. That lady that called me
Hector: Sir, listen to me. If jour wife doesn't take this medication...
David: It isn't my wife, sir!
Hector: ...she's going to have a traumatic fit! She's going to...
David: Sir, you're wrong!
Hector: Well, she will go into a fit, it says here!
(Grace mumbles in the background)
David: You--the lady that called me was having a fit on the phone! She says she needs her medication!
Hector: Listen here. Jou guys are going to be in some WICKED trouble if you two don't start with these drugs.
David: WE're not in trouble, YOU're gonna be in trouble because it's the wrong...
Grace (in background): You will not call here any longer!
David: ...it's the wrong name!
Hector: Well who is the right name, then, if jou--what are you saying?
David: C-R-O-N-I-N-G! Gladys Cro-NING!
Hector: I...I don't have Glad--hold on, lemme type it in, but I'm telling you it says G--G. Cronig.
David: No, it's G...it's Gladys. She told me her name.
John (in background): What seems to be going on there, Hector? What's the problem?
Hector (in background): Ah, it's the same people calling me up again, saying now that--that they don't have the prescription, that some other woman is having a fit or whatever. I think it's some kids playing a joke or something.
David: Can you call--can you let me talk to the pharmacist, please?
Hector: What--jou--wh--excuse me sir, what'd you say? I--
David: Can I speak to--
Hector (cuts him off): I'm talking to my pharmacist right now, can you please hold on for a second, ok? Please, have some r-re-re--respect.
Hector (in background): Listen, um, Mr. Dandell, I don't--they're calling again, and now they're saying that uh, they are not the people that the prescription is for. I told the woman if she doesn't taking her pill, that she could have a traumati-episode within twelve hours, but she don't believing me, this guy don't believing me, nobody believing me.
David: May I talk to the pharmacist, please?
John (in background): Why--why don't you let me, uh, talk to them, Hector.
Hector: Okay, I'm gonna put jou on, but I don't appreciate this...
David: That's all right, let me talk to the pharmacist, please.
Hector: ...and I think that you're a big...how do you say American, uh...
David: ...all right...
Hector: ...doo-doo shithead, that's what I have to say.
David: ...let me talk to the pharmacist.
Hector: All right, hold on. Here you are, Mr. Dell-dan.
John: Hello?
David: Yes...
John: Mr. Cronig?
David: It's a wr--mistake, sir...
John: Okay, I don't appreciate you...
David: ...the lady called me, I don't know how she got my number...
John: ...excuse me, sir, give me a second here, let me finish speaking, sir...
David: Gladys Cro-NING.
John: Sir? Can I finish speaking my sentence, sir? Uh, you know, last time you talked to me you're cursing at me, uh okay....
David: Stop that, and forget the--what I cursed at you...
John: Sir, I don't...
David: ...I apologized for that...
John: ...okay, this is a business here...
David: The lady called me, she was having a fit on the phone!
Grace (in background): But she was--
David: And her name is G. CRO-NING!
John: Okay, sir, this is going a little bit too far.
David: It's the wrong name!
John: This is...
David: You've got the wrong people!
John: Sir, it's going a little bit too far here, okay...
David: Yes, it's the wrong...
John: A little bit too far for me.
David: Sir, it's the wrong...
Grace (in background): And I don't want you to call here--
David: It's the wrong people! I'm gonna call the police...
Hector (in background): Do you believe these people?
David: --and have them straighten you out!
Hector (in background): Do you believe the nerve of these people to call up here and say that we gotting our records wrong!
David: You've got a wrong mistake, sir!
John: No, I don't believe it, Hector, and I-I tell you, I think that this is going to the limits here, and I don't know what the heck's going on! I'm prescribing...
David: Do you know...
John: ...six cases of Valium for you right now.
David: Do you have a customer by the name of Gladys Cro-NING? C-R-O-N-I...
John: Yes we do, yes we do and she's a very wonderful woman with a very wonderful German Shepherd.
David: She called me and she said she bit the tail of her dog, she's so much having a fit, and she...
John: She WHAT, sir!? She--what'd you say she did, sir!?
David: She bit the tail of her dog, she
John: Oh, come on, sir!! Please! I don't have time for these games, sir! She--
David: Well I don't have time for you for calling! I'm gonna call the...
Grace (in background): Will you please stop harassing us!
John: She--she bit...
David: You're harassing us, sir!
John: She bit the tail of her...
David: We do not have a prescription!
John: She bit the tail of a dog, sir!?
David: That's what she told me! Her name is Gladys Cro-NING!
Hector (in background): I seen--uh--
David: You've got the wrong name!
Hector: I seen Gla--hello, I've-- met Gladys and she never biting her dog. I know that for a fact. She--
David: Oh, come on! Call her, and ask her!
Hector: She--she loves her--she is a very w--good woman...
David: Call her!
Hector: ..who comes in here week, and...
David: Will you call her!?
Hector: She doesn't have any prescription that you need, sir, you two...
David: Well--
Hector: Are having si--psychotic episodes! I can hear it right now.
David: I'm sorry, sir, you're wrong!
Hector: No, listen to you, you're...
David: You're wrong!
Hector: You're making up stories of women biting dogs...you know, women don't bite the tail of a dog.
David: She called me, and she told me that on the phone! Believe me!
John: That's true, I have to--I have to agree with you, Hector, you know, I never heard of a...
David: I'll call my doctor and tell him to call you...
John: Sir, I'm prescribing...
David: ...because I think you're wrong!
John: I'm prescribing six cases of Valium for you, because...
David: You're wrong, sir!
John: The both of you are having traumatic episodes. You're making up stories now!
David: No! Wrong!
John: Biting the tail of...
David: You've got the wrong person!
John: ...biting the tail of a dog, sir, really here now!
David: Well that's what she told me!
John: Well--oh, yeah, I'm sure she called you personally, sir! Where'd she get your number?
David: Yes, she did! And she was having a fit on the phone!
John: Sh--you're telling me that this woman called you, in a fit on the phone?
David: We're not crazy!
John: Sir, I--I think you're having some serious delusional episodes.
Grace (in background): I-I--you're probably crazy!
David: I think--I think you've got the wrong name!
John: Hold on here, I'm entering it in right now. C-R...C-R-O...
David: C-R-O-N-I-N-G!
John: ...N-I-G. Okay, I'm prescribing you seventeen cases of Valium right now.
Grace (in background): Where did they get our name?
John: You both need some serioud Valium, I want you to get a long sleep.
David: Where did you get our name? I don't understand it.
John: Well, you're taking...okay, I'm gonna add some--some acid, too.
David: We do not have any problems, sir!
John: Sir, have you been taking LSD?
David: No...we have not...had any problems!
John: How old are the both of you, sir?
David: I'm eighty-three years old tomorrow!
John: Oh, sh--yeah, and...
David: ...and I know what I'm on!
John: ...and I'm a hundred and four, sir, okay...I don't appreciate this. Have you been taking marijuana, sir?
David: No, sir! We are not...on drugs!
John: Cra--
(Grace mumbles in the background)
John: Crack-cocaine, sir?
David: You made a mistake! Can't you believe me? You're making a mistake!
John: I'm just...I---sir, I-I think you're having a serious drug-realated episode, here.
Grace (in background): I'm gonna put a trace on this call!
David: I'm gonna--I think I'll call the police and have 'em trace you...
John: You're gonna put a trace on this call, sir? Sir, stop smoking the crack-cocaine.
David: You're full of baloney, sir, it's wrong!
Hector (in background): Tell them--tell them to stop--I bet jou they're...
(David hangs up)
Hector (in background): ...they're smoking acid.
Gladys: Goooooo!
(dial tone)
END
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