My first childhood memory - Blackout Transcribed by Costa Mouratidis Characters: Blackout, that's it. It's not a memory that I really choose to, but it comes to me. I mean I think it comes to everyone. Because when you are a little kid, strange instances start to stand out. Well no, the memory was not of playing or anything like that. The memory that first comes to me was being in this little dingy bathroom and uh, explaining my first poop. Yeah, well, it kinda went something like this: (Assumes little kid voice) Hi mommy, hi daddy, how are you today? I'm alright. Uh yes uh, I'm sorry. I know, I know. I shit myself, I'm sorry. The, no wait, don't hit me yet, let me explain to you what happened. No, well, I had to make a big poopy, I had to make a really big poopy, you know, and I wanted to do it by myself. I wanted to make my own poopy. And so, well, I came to the, to the bathroom, and I had a diaper on and I felt in my stomach, a super, a really big poopy, a super-dooper pooper, a super big fat juicy one. And I didn't wanna spoil my diaper with it so I said, I said 'Today, I'm gonna poop, I'm gonna poop on my own. My very own poop.' And I, I went to the toilet, and that was the first time really, because I'm really the same size as the toilet, so the first time, wait, don't hit me yet, don't hit me yet, im explaining to you. I know, I will clean all this shit on the floor, sorry, I didn't mean to curse, don't hit me yet, um, wait, listen. The first problem was that there, the toilet bowl is really big, and I'm like really small, and I don't know how the hell they get up there, I really don't I was like, 'how do I get up there?' So that was the first problem. But I figured that out, I uh, I, I climbed onto, onto the bathtub, and then I jumped from the bathtub to the toilet and then I was on the toilet bowl. But then second problem that I ran into was that I, um, my ass is so tiny that I fell into the hole, and I was like feeling the water on my butt, and it was really gross cuz it made me wanna pee. But first I only wanted to make a poop, but now I wanted to make a pee cuz there was the warm toilet water was squishing on my but and I was stuck in the toilet. My legs were up, and I was really in a kinda embarrasing position if someone woulda came in cuz I couldn't move, and I was stuck with the squishy water on my butt, and I had to make a poopy now, and a pee, so I had to do a number 1 and a numer 2, so I had to do a number 3 then I suppose, cuz I had both. No don't hit me yet, don't hit me yet. Listen, so I, I, you were in here, you both were in here and I didn't know what to do to get out of the toilet. So I flushed the toilet, and then all the water started swirling around and swirling around, and swirling around, and I didn't, and then it was disgusting cuz it made me wanna poop and pee more, cuz the water was tickling my hiney, and I didn't know what to do. Before you know it I felt the poop coming out, cuz uh, it took me so long to get all this done that this poopey was just sitting there and I'm like, oh man, this poopy's a big one, this is one big poopy, and I didn't know what to do and it started coming out and then all of the sudden the pee said hey you don't forget about me, I'm the pee-pee, I gotta come out too. And before I knew it, just everything was coming out of everywhere and then my butt hole climbed up the hole of the toilet, and the poop and the pee were coming out of the toilet spinnin 'round and it went everywhere and that's why im like this with my feet hanging out of the toilet with the crap everywhere mommy and daddy. I'm sorry. I tried to do what you told me but it just all went to hell, it just all screwed up, nothing worked out correctly and now I'm a mess covered in piss and shit. I'm sorry. And that was my first memory as a child. I mean I probably don't remember much after that because I was beat so severely because of that incident that I think half of my brain cells are dead. But you know, I do finally remmember my first poopy. Yeah, we all have our memories.