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Supervisor: Can I Help you? Blackout: Is this the supervisor? Supervisor: Yes Blackout: Thank god for that I've been... oh, what is your name please? Supervisor: Mrs. Ness Blackout: Ok... What? Supervisor: Mrs. Ness. Blackout: Mrs. Nest. As in birds nest? Supervisor: No, N-E-S-S as in Sam. Blackout: N-E-S-S as in Nestle Chocolate? Nestle Chocolate of London. Mrs. Ness, without and N-N-E, without the Lee, without the L-E, Ness? Supervisor: N-E-S-S like Sam. Blackout: Like Sam... Mrs. Nessam, Ok, Mrs. Nessam, umm, the reason I've been on hold here, for a long time, is that I've been trying to get a number, I just can't understand how the whole directory assistance thing operates here. I needed to get a number for the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society, located in sunrise. Supervisor: Ok. And what is the name of the society? Blackout: It's the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien Society in Sunrise, the London branch, actually the Ft. Lauderdale branch of sunrise. Supervisor: Can you spell that? Blackout: Uhhh, I believe it's uhh it's Rook, as in like a chess rook, but not R but double R roll the tongue accented over the O, Rrrrrrooksnitchzien, as in, I think I have a pamphlet, no, I keep looking at the same phone book page, Rrrrrrooksnitchzien as in yes roll the tongue there you are. Supervisor: Do you know how to speel rooksnitzine? Blackout: No no, not rooksnitzine, it's, you have to roll the... Do you know how to roll your tongue? It's a RRRRRRRRRRRRRR roll the tongue, RRRRRRRRRRRRROOK, can you say RRRRRRROOK as in roll? You'll see how it's spelled once you say it, it's this whole thing of this brain thing, you can't spell it until you can say it. Rrrrrrooksnitchzien can you say it? Supervisor: No mam, I need... Blackout: No it's no SIR, not no mam, no SIR. Supervisor: Can you spell it? Blackout: Do I sound like a madam to you? I am definately not a madame, Mrs. Nessam. Supervisor: Can you give me the first three letters of it? Blackout: I Believe it's triple R. Supervisor: One moment please. (Typing in background) Blackout: Did you find it??? Hello, Mrs. Sam... Mrs. Sandwich... Did you find the number, hello there? Supervisor: No I have not found anything yet. Blackout: With the triple R? Supervisor: With either triple R or double R. Blackout: Well can you put the accent key? I don't know if the computer has it, if you need to uhh... Roll the tongue, tell the computer to RRROOLL it's tongue. (Frustrated laughing) Blackout: No no it's RRRRRRROOOK, if you just, say RRRROOOK, can you say RRROOK? Supervisor: I can say ruke, but. Blackout: No not RUKE see that's the whole problem. It's nor RUKE its Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society, say RRRRRRRRRRRRRROOK, roll, you put your tongue to the... Tip to the top to the tip to the. Anyone can roll their tongue. Look, put your tip. Supervisor: Please, the spelling Blackout: If you could say it I'm sure you'd have no problem. Put the tip of the tongue to the top. Supervisor: I need the spelling... Please. Blackout: Uhh, I'm looking for the spelling. I wish I knew it, if I knew it I could actually obviously callup Cen-trust bank and get it from them. That's why I called, I thought you could assist people who do not know the actual spelling, that's what I needed, assistance. What happens if all this doesn't work out, do I have to come back and pick up my quarter from you? Cuz I want my damn quarter back. Supervisor: We could probably give you a credit. Blackout: No I don't want credit, I don't work on credit, credit is united. I want twenty-five cents, a nice silver piece in my hand. Look, I don't even want that, could I please just have the number please? Supervisor: The number for what? Blackout: For the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien... Supervisor: Mam... Blackout: No, SIR, you are doing it again, do I sound like a madam to you? Supervisor: (Sounding on the virge of tears) Sir, without the spelling I cannot find the listing. Blackout: No, maybe if you could say it you could understand. RRRRRROOOK. Supervisor: I understand it perfectly but without the spelling I am not locating it. Blackout: Ok, try quadruple R, double O, roll the top of the O. Supervisor: I've tried triple R, I've tried double R. Blackout: Did I say double R? I said quadruple R, roll the O, double tip on the top of the O. (silence) Blackout: Tip of the top of the tongue to the top. That's all you have to do to roll your tongue... Say RRRRRROOOK. Please, please. Supervisor: I do not need a lesson in how to roll my R's. Blackout: I'm not trying to give you a lesson mam. Supervisor: Give me the spelling or I cannot help you. Blackout: I am trying desperately to get the number, don't you see, I have to have this number, if you could just roll your R's maybe we can all get through this and you can get me the number. Supervisor: No I need you to give me the spelling... Blackout: Do you have anyone there who can roll their damn R's? Is there anyone there i can speak to who can roll tip to the tongue to the roll their R's Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society, that's all I need can you PLEASE give it to me. Mam, please, I'm getting quite frustrated. Hello? Supervisor: I'm still here, and I STILL need the spelling. Blackout: I, ok, quadruple R, no, no, forget that, sextuplet R, double O, roll the tip of the top of the T snitchzien. I can spell snitchzien for you. Supervisor: That might help Blackout: Snitchzien, S-N-I-T-Z-H-R-E-Z I-N society... Blackout: No wait, I'm not sure if that is right. Oh geez, that's my grandmother's name I'm sorry... Is there anyone there mam who can RRROLL their R's please? Supervisor: (asks around office in background) Blackout: Hello? Supervisor: We still need a spelling please. Blackout: Does she know how to roll her R's? Supervisor: The problem is not how to roll the R's. The problem is how to spell the name of the society. Without that I cannot help you. Blackout: That is why I need to speak to someone who can roll their R's because in America the spelling of the rolled R is different than in Ireland I would like to talk to someone who can roll their R's, obviously you don't understand what im saying, so we're not getting anywhere here. I'm sorry but can I please jus ttalk to someone who can roll the tip or the top to the tongue roll their R's. (Silence) Blackout: That woman next to you, can she roll her R's? Supervisor: Hold on please. Blackout: Ok, I'll wait for the third time. Manager: Manager: Hi, this is Mrs. Graham the Manager:, how can I help you? Blackout: Oh hello, this is the Manager:, I was talking to the supervisor, I need a number. It's very simple, I need the number to the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society. It's the Ft. Lauderdale branch, and I believe it's in Sunrise, and she was having a problem because I didn't know the exact spelling. And so I was hoping at least the Manager:, and being the Manager: I know you have some sense and your actually apt to do your job. Manager: Well, I'm only as adequate at the job as the customer gets me the information to help. Blackout: Well, uhh, I am here and ready to help you. Manager: I don't know what the proper spelling on that is. Blackout: Well, let me get you through this, can you roll your R's? Can you say Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society? Manager: That doesn't help me spell it though. Blackout: You see, it DOES though. It does. Tip of the top to the T. Manager: Is it R-U? Blackout: What did you say? Manager: Is it ruke? Blackout: You see, there you go again, you Americans, you BLOODY Americans. Ruke Ruke Ruke. Manager: (complaining) Blackout: No, I'm not putting down the American way of life, I'm just saying that everyone is saying the same thing to me. It's NOT ruke. Manager: I have a speech impediment sir, I'm sorry. Blackout: You have a speech impediment? Manager: Yes Blackout: Umm, What are you doing then (laughs) Manager: I've had many years of speech therapy sir. Blackout: So you have a speech impediment yet you work for the telephone company, that doesn't make much sense now does it? Manager: Well, there is no discrimination here. Blackout: Oh, that's right, America, land of the free, sorry, I bloody forgot for a second. Manager: What kind of business is this sir? Blackout: It's a society. Did I say the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien business? No, I said the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society. Manager: What does this society do? Blackout: They socialize in a society type environment. Manager: What street are they on? Blackout: I'm, I'm not sure of the street. Manager: What city are they in? Blackout: They ARE in Sunrise, the Ft. Lauderdale branch, the London branch, located in Ft. Lauderdale. Manager: Thank you but I have nothing with the word society in my records beginning with the letter R. Blackout: That's because it's just a society, that's not the name. Manager: Well, it has the word society in it. Are you saying that? Blackout: No, it's the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien, it's a society, the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society, but it doesn't have that on the building no. Manager: Ok, one moment please, I have to answer my other line. Blackout: Can I Please just speak to someone who doesn't have a speech impediment? Manager: Thank you, I'm sorry but I'm the only one in the office. Blackout: Oh umm ok. I figure then why it rang for 20 hours. Umm, can I please speak to someone who can role their R's? Manager: We do not have anyone with an english accent in our office sir. Blackout: Oh, so you are saying you ARE discriminatory then. Manager: No, I'm just saying no one is working in our office. Blackout: Why is that? Is that because of discrimination? Manager: No, because they have not applied. Blackout: Well, I am going to apply damnit. Manager: Well, you will get the job. Blackout: I will get the job? How can I pick up and application? Manager: You go to uhh... Blackout: Wait a second there. You are trying to deter me from my actualy point to get the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien... Manager: I don't have anything that would be RUKE. Blackout: No it's not (Yelling) IT IS NOT RUKE! Manager: There is no need to yell at me sir. Blackout: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please accept my. .. Manager: You are the customer... Blackout: I understand Manager: And all I am trying to do is find the number, but you don't know how to spell it. Blackout: Maybe... Manager: Without the customer to tell us how to spell it... Blackout: Is there anyone there who perhaps has a spanish... There are no english people there? Manager: Spanish is not similar to the english accent. Blackout: No, but they have a similar spelling of the rolling of the tongue. The tip of the top to the T Manager: Maybe you should check with some of your friends, maybe they know how to spell this? Blackout: That's why I'm trying to call the society, I have no friends, I just moved here. And I was directed by the directory of commerce... Manager: Then they can tell you how to spell it. Blackout: They DONT know how to spell it because... I don't have their number. Manager: IF it is registered with them. Blackout: What did you say? Manager: If it is registered with them, they should know how to spell it. Blackout: I never said it was registered with them. Manager: Then how do they know about it? Blackout: Because that's where they said I could find someone similar to me to talk to, and possibly meet someone. Can you please help me mam, PLEASE. Manager: I tried sir, I tried. Blackout: Please just HELP me damnit. Manager: I tried RUKE. Blackout: NO ITS NOT RUKE! ITS NOT RUKE, ITS NOT RUKE, DID I SAY RUKE? NO, I SAID RRRROOK, DID I SAY RUKE RUKE? Manager: What's the first letter? Blackout: It's a, um, I know it is some sort of an R. Manager: Well, that's what I said. Blackout: Yes but it's a roll your tongue tip to the top to the T R, not your english R, BIG difference. Manager: You mean it starts with a T instead of an R? Blackout: I, I'm not sure, it's a possibility, but I don't know for sure. Manager: Well I am sorry I have no way to find it. Blackout: You're telling me, You're telling me, no one there rolls their R's, that's what you are saying? No one in that entire place... Manager: All I know is that no one here is from england. Blackout: Did I say? Manager: Or anywhere in that area. Blackout: I need to speak to someone that can RRROOOL their R's Manager: There is no one in my office available to do that sir. Blackout: Well then DAMNIT, I WANT MY QUARTER BACK! Just give me my quarter back (crying) Manager: There is no need to even pay a quarter if you are on a payphone. Blackout: What are you talking about? Manager: You're on a payphone? Blackout: I never said I was on a payphone. Manager: Are you at home? Blackout: Yes, I'm at home. Manager: What is you're number, I'd be glad to give you credit. Blackout: Alright, thank god something around here is going to get done. Manager: What is you're number? Blackout: 753 249 Manager: That's not enough numbers. Blackout: What are you talking about? Manager: You have to have seven digits in a telephone number. Blackout: No, I've always had six digits, always. Manager: There is always seven in the, America. Blackout: No, well in London I had six, so here I must have six... Manager: In america we have seven. Blackout: Since when? Manager: Since when? Since the beginning of umm, area codes. Blackout: Since the beginning, area code, what's an area code? Manager: Sir... Blackout: Oh, you're talking about the prefix, the subject prefix. Manager: Each state has their own area code. Blackout: Ok, we call them prefixes in London. Manager: Well we call prefixes the first three numbers of your telephone number. Blackout: Yes, 753 649. Manager: 753... Blackout: 649. Manager: That's not a complete phone number. Blackout: No, that's my telephone number, I've given it... I've had it for about two weeks now and I Manager: It's not enough numbers sir. Blackout: 753 649, I've gotten many calls on it. Manager: There is no way anyone can call you on a six digit number sir, we do not have any. Blackout: It's in special agreement with the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society. Manager: It's not enough numbers. Blackout: I have an agreement with the Rrrrrrooksnitchzien society to... Manager: Sir I am sorry but you are not making any common sense. Blackout: I am making as much as I can but with your impediment you're just not... Manager: You are not making common sense... Blackout: Ok, how about we meet and you can just give me a quarter back. Manager: I cannot give you a quarter back. Blackout: Why not, I just spent a... Manager: We do not know your telephone number. Blackout: I don't want you to give a quarter to my telephone, I want you to give a quarter to me. Manager: How am I going to do that sir? Do you want me to run to your residence and give it to you personally? Blackout: Is that possible? Manager: What is your address? Blackout: My address iSupervisor: 4000 S.W. Rrrrrrooksnitchziel Ln., Sunrise. |